Five Things I Learned in My Five Years of Parenting

I am just about one month shy of being a parent of a 5 year old. In these five years, I've become a parent of not only one but two boys. Transitioning from one child to two makes you reflect on what it was like having just one child, and ponder how in the world you'll manage everything that's already on your plate, plus the needs of another, whole human being. This is the time when you start to prioritize and strategize.

After having my first child, I tried to be everything I was before child and manage everything that came with having a child. As crazy as that plan is with one child, with two children, it is just not humanly possible. Unless of course, you're not one that requires sleep. After having my second child, more and more I started coming to terms with the fact that I can't be everything to everyone, all of the time. With this realization, I started letting go of things that caused me heartburn.

• Guilt comes with the territory - feeling guilty about what you did or didn't do is just part of being a parent. Guilt about not having enough patience because you don't take enough time for yourself to regroup. Guilt because you take time for yourself and don't spend enough time with the kids. I accept and embrace that guilty feeling as part of my daily life but I don't allow it to overwhelm me.
• Asking for help is NOT frowned upon - they say, "it takes a village to raise a child". On some level I agree with this sentiment. It is perfectly OK to ask for help. I've been lucky enough to have parents nearby that are able and willing to help. I am a strong believer in kids building a bond with their grandparents. Grandparents get a chance to bond with the kids and you get a break, and a chance to catch up on things you haven't had a chance to get to. Sounds like a win-win in my book.
• Taking "me" time is a necessity - It's a chance to step away and get in touch with yourself as a person, and not just yourself as a parent. "Me" time allows me to be a better, more patient parent. I see it only as a positive. 
• Everything won't get done every day - In an earlier post I mentioned how hubby and I try to manage our weekly to-dos and chores. One of the things he said to me as I was getting ready to get back into the working world was, "it's OK if everything doesn't get done every day". And you know, he is right. It's all about setting realistic expectations. The more realistic the expectations, the less unnecessary stress you'll endure. If we got three things done today but didn't get to a pile of laundry, it's not the end of the world. It'll still be there, waiting for us tomorrow. 
• Skipping soup one day, won't kill the kids - I come from a culture where not having soup everyday is almost a sin. On a weekly basis, I wrecked my brain over what kind of soup I should make that week. Because the kids need to have fresh soup available at all times, and if they don't, I've failed as a parent. This is quite a burden to carry. In reality, making fresh soup every three days is just not feasible, and if the kids don't have soup for a few days, they really will be fine. In fact, they might thank you for the soup break.

I would love to hear your stories, What have you learned from your parenting adventures? 

Until next time...